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An attempt at a worthy expression

of leaning into the light ...

9 May 1980
About me as a person:
  • I am a naturalist. Though I work with insects I am interested in all animals – with or without a backbone. I even enjoy plants on a superficial level. The majority of the traveling I have done has been to educate myself on ecosystems around the world. My love of nature is one of the most important things to me. I am very empathetic to animals and natural causes.
  • I am a Christian. My religious beliefs are an integral part of who I am. I don’t force my beliefs on others and enjoy friendships with atheists, Muslims, and others of different faiths. I respect others beliefs and I expect the same for my own.
  • I am a political moderate. If you forced me onto one side I would say I was a republican because a lot of my fundamental beliefs lie on their side but I think that people on both sides have major blind spots. I vote each election based on the individual person - their beliefs and my own.
  • I enjoy debating or just indulging in a little bit of philosophical omphaloskepsis. I love to think and talk about philosophical issues. I enjoy reading and talking to people about their opinions. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people accuse me of sequacious thought, behavior or opinions. Everything I believe – I believe for a reason. You may not agree but never suggest that I believe something simply because I am a woman, American, or Christian. I will happily give you my reasons if you so desire.
  • I adore odd Words/Quotes. I try to end many of my posts with a pertinent quote but have fallen behind in doing so as of late. I enjoy studying odd words and have a list going on at this post with words I enjoy so much I am attempting to remember them for future use.
  • I am an avid reader - currently I have a list of over 70 books that I am hoping to read in the next year or so. I am a firm believer in self education and the responsibility that each citizen has to do so. Regardless of what you want to learn – learn something! I have enjoyed reading fantasy and scifi for the greater part of my life and ever since I entered college I have tried to read more Science Non-Fiction. The list mentioned above is what resulted from going through my library and pulling all the books I own but have yet to read. Wish me luck!
  • I can be a bit of a geek. I grew up on Star Trek: The Next Generation and am currently one of those “rabid browncoats.” My television viewing is mostly doctor, lawyer, and scifi shows along with the obvious smattering of natural science specials.
The title of my journal comes from an excerpt of Barry Lopez's Arctic Dreams:

How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.

This touches on something I have felt ever since becoming aware of other cultures out there and the plight of the world as a whole. It is hard to learn about the dire situation of the world around you and how, by your very existence, you are making it worse. I can have a cynical nature at times and don’t really want to apologize for that. After traveling to various places in the world and studying nature during one of the biggest extinction events in global history – one does have to come to terms somehow. I understand the phrase “Ignorance is Bliss” but, even so, I am still attempting to learn more in a hopes of somehow making sense of it all.

Other than all of that there are some quotes below that I feel certain kinship with and all else can be found by perusing the pages of my journal or photo gallery (or for specifics - queries are always welcome).

I know well what I am fleeing but not what I am in search of.
-Michel de Montaigne

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
–Albert Einstein

Only the shallow know themselves.
–Oscar Wilde

If everybody contemplates the infinite instead of fixing the drains, many of us will die of Cholera.
–John Rich

I may be crazy but it keeps me from going insane.
-Waylon Jennings

At bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

My importance to the world is relatively small. On the other hand, my importance to myself is tremendous. I am all I have to work with, to play with, to suffer and to enjoy. It is not the eyes of others that I am wary of, but of my own. I do not intend to let myself down more than I can possibly help, and I find that the fewer illusions I have about myself or the world around me, the better company I am for myself.
-Noel Coward

If there is nothing wrong with me ... then there must be something wrong with the universe.
-Dr Crusher

Don't know what to get serendith for Christmas?
Check out her Amazon Wishlist

Countries visited: USA, Mexico, Trinidad and Tobago, Ecuador, Peru, Argentina, France, England, Italy, Namibia, and Antarctica

Currently I am a maintainer of athanarel - though by "maintainer" I mean I am just the person who is trying to tweak the little things that need to be done and help any newbies that followed Sherwood Smith here. On that note, if you ever have a random question about livejournal or really anything - feel free to give me random comments/questions at any time. My life can be insane, with the various jobs and roles I am attempting to fill, but I truly enjoy helping people when I can.